Dancing Deities
by Damian Gomez
3/25/2018
3/25/2018
I
had my first psychedelic experience in 1991 at the tender age of
fifteen. At that age, I was still rather innocent and until then, I
hadn't experimented with drugs, tobacco or even alcohol. For reasons
that are still unclear to me, LSD was the first drug that I
encountered in my youth. That's right, no gateway drugs for me,
straight to the hard stuff! LSD, also known as acid, is the
most potent hallucinogen known to man and is considered to be a
powerful entheogen
because of its tendency to induce mystical and spiritual experiences
among users. Even a dose as small as twenty to thirty micrograms can
produce mind-expanding effects. To say that my first LSD trip was
profound would be an understatement. It was my first real spiritual
experience and my perception of reality was forever changed. Many of
the visions, thoughts, and emotions that I experienced on my first
LSD trip are completely ineffable but I'll do my best to illustrate,
in the following paragraphs, what I can only describe as a
psychedelic theophany involving Aztec deities. In other words, a
visible manifestation or appearance of Aztec deities while under the
influence of a hallucinogenic drug.
“Are
you ready?” a friend asked me in a low voice. He carefully handed
me a hit of blotter acid wrapped inside a partially opened piece of
tin foil. It was a tiny blue square of perforated blotter paper that
had a white star printed directly in the center. Being that it was
my first time ever seeing a hit of blotter acid, I studied my dose
with a childlike curiosity before ingesting it. I was neither nervous
nor fearful. At fifteen years of age, I was stress free and had no
real responsibilities, no worries, and no plaguing anxiety. I
believe this allowed me to enter into this psychedelic communion with
an unclouded mind.
The weather was warm and the skies were clear over the deserts of southeastern New Mexico on this specific night. I was with an eclectic group of close friends, a congregation of new wavers, punk rockers, and skinheads clad in flight jackets and Dr. Marten boots. Most of these friends were much older than I was so I felt privileged to be with them and was more than willing to partake in their psychedelic indoctrination. After ingesting our LSD, we all piled into a friend's house and waited for the drug to take effect. There were no parents present or authoritative figures there to ruin our acid party, in fact, we had free reign of that house for much of the night. The grinding sound of electronic industrial music became audible in the background as a peculiar energy began to generate throughout the house. It was a cool scene and I felt as if I was a part of something unique and almost esoteric. There were teenagers occupying just about every room including the living room area which is where I had situated myself. Sitting next to me was an attractive young girl who attended the same school that I did. Several glances and smiles were exchanged as we waited with anticipation, but any thoughts that I had of hooking up with her that night slowly dissolved as the LSD began to seize my mind. The high and euphoric feeling that washed over me became almost unbearable. It was at this moment that a young man walked into the center of the living room area and tossed a handful of red glitter into the air which immediately captivated my attention. The glitter seemed to float endlessly in the air as it sparkled in the most resplendent shades of red that I had ever seen. Pure wizardry! This particular event acted as the catalyst that sent me soaring directly into my mind-expanding journey at an astonishing pace. My visual hallucinations intensified to a crippling level and the reality that I once knew was being ripped to shreds before my very eyes. I soon found myself in a new and mystical reality, a kaleidoscopic world of fluctuating colors and patterns. It would be impossible for me to elaborate on my first LSD trip in its entirety because many of those experiences are indescribable and some have simply escaped my memory. For that reason, I will now focus on the most profound and memorable of those experiences, the theophany.
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| A photo of myself on LSD at the age of 15 |
The
effects of the LSD strengthened with unyielding ferocity. My speech
became jumbled and inarticulate. My visual hallucinations began to
take form and the living room was, at this point, almost
unrecognizable. The walls, ceilings, and floors were bejeweled and
pulsating with varying forms and shapes that would spin, rise and
descend. I had entered into a magical and psychedelic dimension of
whirling symbols, patterns, and geometric shapes. These fascinating
visual hallucinations were translucent and fluctuating with vivid
colors. Mars ♂ and Venus♀,
the symbols used to denote male and female sex, were revealed to me
as interlocking gears in motion. As if things couldn't get any more
bizarre, the carpet floor suddenly gave way and a rhombus patterned
grid rose from beneath the ground. This grid resembled a small stage
or platform made from stone that had large rhombus shaped holes on
the surface. Before I could get up and run for the door, a band of
Aztec deities slowly ascended in a synchronized fashion from the
hollow rhombus shaped portions of the stage. Short in stature, each
deity was clothed in ancient Aztec garb and was adorned with charms,
pendents, armlets, bracelets, and leg bracelets. To my delight, some
deities were dancing while others were playing musical instruments.
Despite these bodily figures being very life-like, they appeared
translucent while fluctuating with a multitude of neon colors.
Continually ascending and descending in synchronization from the
rhombus shaped holes atop the stage, it appeared to be some type of
shamanic display or show with me being the sole audience and intended
recipient of any information that was being communicated. Before
long, I had become oblivious to anything or anyone else occupying the
living room as I was completely enchanted with this phenomenal and
mystical event that I was experiencing. I continued to watch the
deities dance for what seemed like several minutes until they
departed in the same mystical way that they appeared. My acid trip
continued on through night and I had many more memorable experiences
but my theophanic experience was the most profound and memorable of
them all. So absorbed was I by this singular event that I am able to
evoke detail memories of my experience twenty seven years later.
I'd
like to think that I am perspicacious enough to interpret my profound
psychedelic experience but I must admit, it's been a tricky and
delicate process. I've had lots of time to contemplate whether this
was indeed a theophanic experience or if it was nothing more than a
drug induced hallucination. As you may already know, Aztec religion
and mythology consists of a pantheon of gods and goddesses. None of
which I am able to decisively identify as being present during my
supposed theophanic experience. They could have been ancient Aztec
spirits or perhaps what I was experiencing was an Aztec ancestral
visitation. It would then, of course, be imperative to take my
genetics into consideration. In addition, there was no interaction
between myself and the dancing deities. At no point did anyone of
them step down from the stage and approach me. In retrospect, this
theophany lasted for a brief moment within a bizarre and freakish night
that seemed to last an eternity. I now wholeheartedly believe that my
encounter, theophanic or not, may be the only true religious and/or
mystical event that I've ever experienced.
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| watercolor painting depicting Aztec deity Xochipilli or "The Prince of Flowers" |
